There seems to be ten pounds of life that I don't have much control over, that I have to squish in a five pound bag. The driving fourish hours a day or more really takes it out of me.
My hubs worked 36 hours in the first three days of the week, and there's no end in sight to his overwork. He is understandably absolutely exhausted and also mentally drained. Someone on his team got axed and they dumped all that person's work into hub's lap. The last time this happened I didn't see much of hubs for almost six months. I need him around, to be sure, and besides that there are a lot of house maintenance/repairs things that must be done, too. I don't know how I can get them done without him.
Major problems with the orders that people need from me, whatever could go wrong on them has gone wrong, and still wrapping up a bunch of medical stuff. Steam escaping from the car as I drove it in the driveway today (hopefully just a hose?), bills upon bills for kiddo's education and basic needs (why do I have to feed kiddo most of their meals? why do I have to buy kiddo's underwear, clothing, shoes, personal care supplies, pretty much all kiddo's needs...why can't she even drive kiddo to our house? she's got a new car, shouldn't be a problem...yeah, right...well let's just say kiddo's mom isn't gonna do it and has established that quite clearly), while kiddo's relatives are quite well-to-do but refuse to help. Major problems with MIL, my mother, sister, kiddo...where does it end?
The doorknob just stopped working all of a sudden. Can't get out my front door! I know that's a little thing in the grand scheme of things, but sometimes it's a straw that breaks the camel's back.
I am very grateful for what we DO have, but I do feel like Sisyphus rolling the boulder uphill only for it to roll over me as it heads back down to the bottom of the hill. Guess what, nashbabe? You get to attempt to roll that huge boulder uphill yet again tomorrow. You feel flattened out and damaged by the boulder? Oh, well, do it anyway.
Lord, I trust you but it is very hard. But I do trust You. And I know you are really the one holding the boulder. But I can't get it all done. Please give me wisdom and direction, not to mention strength.
Sometimes people say that trials are like weight training, helping us learn to endure. Rather than giving me comfort, that gives me pause. What in the world might I be training for? Sounds like something very difficult, at least to me...
My hubs worked 36 hours in the first three days of the week, and there's no end in sight to his overwork. He is understandably absolutely exhausted and also mentally drained. Someone on his team got axed and they dumped all that person's work into hub's lap. The last time this happened I didn't see much of hubs for almost six months. I need him around, to be sure, and besides that there are a lot of house maintenance/repairs things that must be done, too. I don't know how I can get them done without him.
Major problems with the orders that people need from me, whatever could go wrong on them has gone wrong, and still wrapping up a bunch of medical stuff. Steam escaping from the car as I drove it in the driveway today (hopefully just a hose?), bills upon bills for kiddo's education and basic needs (why do I have to feed kiddo most of their meals? why do I have to buy kiddo's underwear, clothing, shoes, personal care supplies, pretty much all kiddo's needs...why can't she even drive kiddo to our house? she's got a new car, shouldn't be a problem...yeah, right...well let's just say kiddo's mom isn't gonna do it and has established that quite clearly), while kiddo's relatives are quite well-to-do but refuse to help. Major problems with MIL, my mother, sister, kiddo...where does it end?
The doorknob just stopped working all of a sudden. Can't get out my front door! I know that's a little thing in the grand scheme of things, but sometimes it's a straw that breaks the camel's back.
I am very grateful for what we DO have, but I do feel like Sisyphus rolling the boulder uphill only for it to roll over me as it heads back down to the bottom of the hill. Guess what, nashbabe? You get to attempt to roll that huge boulder uphill yet again tomorrow. You feel flattened out and damaged by the boulder? Oh, well, do it anyway.
Lord, I trust you but it is very hard. But I do trust You. And I know you are really the one holding the boulder. But I can't get it all done. Please give me wisdom and direction, not to mention strength.
Sometimes people say that trials are like weight training, helping us learn to endure. Rather than giving me comfort, that gives me pause. What in the world might I be training for? Sounds like something very difficult, at least to me...
2 comments:
I am sorry you are having a hard time of it. I understand. Stress is a killer and it is hard to watch those you love being so stressed too. I wish I had an answere for you but I don't. Been there, am there. Hope you get through soon.
Thanks. It's okay, God will get us through this and there must be some good that will come of it. I know a large part of it is concerning others' lack of willingness to help and they will have to be accountable for that too. I'm working on always making some time for myself to rest and recharge. You do that too, y'hear? I passed along your apron tutorials link to a board I frequent...thanks again.
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