What the you-know-what am I paying for, anyway?

I haven't posted about education for a long time, probably because of my high frustration level both with our local public school district. I literally don't know any student who has actually graduated from any of the three high schools on our side of town.

If you know me you know that I am also very disappointed in the extremely lax education of kiddo's current private school. Kiddo calls their school "more like a day care" and unfortunately, they're right. Unless kiddo's mom does something, and God comes through, there isn't a whit I can do about that.

But that's not why I'm posting.

Kiddo's public school of zone had the students turn in all their textbooks at least five weeks before the end of the school year "for inventory." Might have been six weeks, I need to check.

What the heck are those kids doing for the last five weeks of school? If that's six weeks in actuality, that's almost 14% of the school year with no books.

I know at least a couple of the parents at the school are aghast, but I have no dog in the hunt so I can go ahead and call it what it deserves: a stupid action. Arrgh.

Excellent Recipe Site

Perhaps I am in the minority, but Food Network is not a place where I tune in 24/7. (They do have a lot o' recipes on their site, though.) We religiously watch "Ace of Cakes", but probably more because it is a lot about sculpture/art/creativity, and the cast of characters genuinely seem to enjoy one another as much as one can at work.

A favorite of mine is the loveable curmudgeon (okay, that's being nice) Anthony Bourdain. He usually tells it like it really is, and that's kind of cool. Not much of a cooking show, again, and not on Food Network, although they've been running his "A Cook's Tour" show again a fair amount. It's just like his "No Reservations" show on The Travel Channel, but without the scenes completely unrelated to food.

So where can one actually learn to cook something that they are likely to use in real life? America's Test Kitchen (Cook's Illustrated), my friends. You'll likely have to become a member of their site to get some of their recipes, but you'll actually use them. They test the recipes like whirling dervishes, developing what they consider to be the best of a number of options. Their show is on PBS. I figure I may as well get a little use out of my tax dollars. And plus, you don't even have to spring for cable to get some good cooking schoolin'.

Here are their oodles of recipes...a couple good ones you should try are butterflying a roast chicken, and the tamale skillet pie. They are useful and practical, and are designed around how people really cook.

So excuse me if I don't catch Giada today. ;-) My DVR is loaded up with episodes of the aforementioned shows...

Naivete'

Yep, I was naive. 'Thought we could hang on to our first year coach at Drake after he took a team of walkons and nobodies to a final ranking of #25 nationwide. Yeah, as if. You can't win that many coaching awards, including AP Coach of the Year, and stay at little old Drake. He bolted for a reported seven year contract at a cool mil per year. No way Drake has that kind of coin, and even if they had, I know that the emphasis wouldn't be on that kind of money or program.

So back to an assistant coach. Looks like the guy they hired out of ASU may be the Drake athletic director's old friend. Well, I will assume nothing, but it still hurts to see Keno go and so quickly. Money talks and you know what walks.

yay!

Much needed good news arrived. I had to have an MRI of an area where I had surgery a little over six months ago for the "highly suspicious of malignancy" area that ended up benign, praise God. Had never had an MRI before, and I have to say that it was the first time I felt like a "sickie". All that noise, and the IV, and all that.

About a week and a half later the dr's ofc called and the news was that there were "no worrisome areas", and that I don't have to have another MRI again for probably a year. I am quite relieved. Thank you, Lord, and all the groovy people who prayed for me. You know how sometimes you feel "prayed for"? Well, I certainly have.

stormy

I'm holding on to the railing of the ship, and the waves are rolling over me.

My muscles are stronger to hold on to the railing than they used to be.

I pray the waves stop for a while, so I can get my bearings again and continue to get stronger. Still have a long way to heal, but have made progress.

It's a lot of work grabbing onto the railing. What would happen if I let go? I don't want to think about that.

Would You just hold me here? I don't want to fall. I also don't want to trust just my own resources.

This (Rich!!!) is a special song about now. You might enjoy it.

Decadent and so easy, and always a huge hit

You'll be the star of the bake sale and the fondly anticipated neighbor who brings over a pan of treats if you use this recipe. How can a stick and a half of butter, a whole bunch of sugar, and plenty of chocolate do anything else?

One Bowl Brownies are just that: brownies you can make in a flash, using one bowl. These brownies do not skimp on the flavor. I vote for real butter on this one...you can still get it pretty cheaply at Aldi.

When the recipe says to bake in a foil lined pan, don't skip that step. It's important for a good finish. Also, be sure to check even after 25 minutes. It is particularly easy to overbake these.

At the web site you will find lots of variations on the one bowl recipe.

It's such an easy recipe, yet exceedingly popular. You'll look like you spent a lot more time than you actually did, and people will love them. Just so long as you don't over bake!!! Remember, they are WAY easy to overbake. I've said that too many times here, haven't I? ;-)

Enjoy.

This is a good post to avoid :-)

Okay, this is the political post. Doubt I'll have another one of these this year. You should pass along to the recipe or craft posts; they're more entertaining! :-)

I just want to say, on the record, that I don't trust ANY political candidates, particularly presidential ones. I don't think any of them have my interests at heart. The only time they act like they do is when they need my vote around voting time. In actuality they work for their big donors. I'm not saying anything profound here, just stating how I feel and how disgusting it all is.

I also don't trust any political candidate's religious statements or views. In particular, I don't trust presidential candidates of any ilk stating that they are Christians or etc. Yes, there are some elected officials that are members of other religious organizations (most notably as of late the Muslim members of Congress which is a fairly new situation), but in America at least at the present time you have to say you are a Christian to be elected president. Does that mean that I don't trust ANY of the presidential candidates' statements that they are Christians? Well, it does mean that I think they will do whatever they have to do to be elected, and if that means say that they are Christians or participate in Christian churches, so be it. Romney? Well, I'm not opening that can of worms. ;-)

Years ago I remember a pretty high-ranking music executive who visited the church I was attending. He basically said "I love your church, but I can't go here." What he was saying was that our church wasn't large enough, wasn't politically/musically "connected" enough, for him to make his mark in his career. I think that he was just more honest than most. Many others, not just politicians, choose churches based mostly, or totally, on how it can help them advance in whatever arena they deem important.

I also think that most people vote based on their own greed or self-absorption. Which party is going to give me more money, or help me keep more of my money, seems to be the litany. I don't think it matters which party we're talking about; the motivation is the same. Either you want money from someone else, or you want to keep all yours to the detriment of the overall good.

This does not mean that I am a moderate. I don't think the Democrats or the Republicans like me. I am sick of the inactivity, waste, and absolute lack of concern for what seem to be basics. And I don't think it is going to get better.

This post must be a sign of middle age. That's it, I give. I'm retreating to a more energetic, less cantankerous age, and only visiting these feelings once in a while. It's not worth it. Maybe this is why so many people have punted voting.

Mostly doing better

It's hard work to focus on healing and becoming healthy, or at least it is for me. It doesn't come naturally. In my world, serving the needs of the abuser was the main focus and not even noticing one's own feelings was the goal.

I do like the feeling of being a little more healthy, though. I'm focusing on vitamins, soy, exercise, and learning some positive things about myself. That last part truly does feel like fiction but sometimes it may possibly be true. Once in a while. Learning what God has to say about me helps. It's not like the latter is a newsflash, but somehow hearing it again does seem to help me see that truth more clearly. If you hesitate to care for yourself because you don't feel as though you are worth it, or there isn't time, or both, I know some of how you must be feeling. Try to embrace even a little loving care for yourself if you can. Try to treat yourself, even for a little while, as God views you...much loved and cherished.

It hasn't been easy lately. Hubs' mom is hospitalized again, and still spending out of control and hoarding like crazy. Let's not talk about my own mom, 'k? Kiddo and his mom are the standard bubbling cauldron of stress, and hubs and I have our own stressors. One would be having replaced the transmission on the car, because it seemed to be the cheapest tack overall. Hard to think of $2300 as being the cheapest way, and certainly wasn't something without stress. 'Got a majorly stressful situation to deal with this morning, which I think is now mostly calmed down.

The long and the short of it is that the stress hasn't abated one bit, and it is still overwhelming to deal with, but the good thing is that I have more reserves to deal with it. Whether that helps in the long run, we shall see. But for now there is encouragement in the midst of all the turmoil that gets dumped on us. We know this is our calling, and we are sheltering ourselves from the situations that we can't really improve anyway. Seems like the wise tack.

Overheard at our house...

I walk into the house around 8:30 or so. Hubs is on the couch, and the Golf Channel is on. He is gently snoring.

I say, "The Golf Channel. That is EXACTLY what I would switch to if I wanted to fall asleep. I guess it definitely works." ;-P

Close Encounters of the Equine Kind...

We had quite an experience last night. Hubs and I ran an errand out to a shopping area out east of town and then headed home in the truck. We took a road home that is fairly heavily traveled, but in some areas is very dark at night--no streetlights, no yard lights, not what I would call rural, but more acreage than the houses in my neighborhood, to be sure.

All of a sudden out of nowhere a horse bolted across the road. It was almost impossible to see them because of the darkness. Hubs was driving, and somehow he mostly missed the horse. His only option was to pull the truck right, and for some reason the horse lunged in that direction as well. We heard a loud "clunk" and pulled our truck over to the side. The horse, amazingly, did not even stop but continued galloping down the side of the road. With the lack of light it was impossible to tell where the horse belonged or, after a few seconds, where the horse had gone.

All we could do at that point was call 911 to alert the authorities to try to get the horse off the busy road, if they could possibly find them.

The weird part was that hubs, fortunately, had been able to slow down considerably and he thought that he and the horse were probably traveling about the same slow speed at this point. For whatever reason, the horse did not even dent our truck. The side mirror bent in from the impact, as it was meant to do, but easily went back in place. There may be some permanent scratches and maybe a small dent, but quite amazingly that was all that happened.

We had invited kiddo to go with us on our errands, but they had elected to stay at their home. That's a good thing, as we would have been in the Civic instead, and that would have been a very different scenario with a horse. Now I'm glad my hubs let the truck run really low on gas, so we took it to gas it up in the midst of our errands. That probably saved us significant injury as we might well have seen if we had driven the Civic.

We have no idea where the horse went, which is very sad indeed, but we also didn't know how to find it or what to do that would have been useful other than alerting the authorities immediately. I certainly hope the horse is okay, and that another driver did not meet up with the same situation we did.

It was hard for hubs to get to sleep after that. Gee, adrenaline and fear keep you awake? I would never have guessed. ;-P

Wisdom...

Someone who has abused me for years is trying a new tack. Now the plan is to have someone else call me and tell me how I should contact the first person, that they are so kind and nice.

Grrrrrrr.

Someone very close to me said "This is like getting getting shot by a person every time you see them, and then you decide that you are not willing to get shot any more so you avoid them. The person who shot you can't figure out for the life of them why you aren't willing to let them shoot you any more, and is angry about it and lonely."

Exactly.

I love and care for the abuser, but I cannot allow myself to be abused any longer. This is a situation with no positive outcome, other than continue to insulate myself from the abuse. It's gutwrenching, but it's the only way. Period.

I am just now for the first time in my life feeling a glimmer of peace and healing, self-knowledge, and being embraced by God in love and care. I know that sounds bizarre or unbelieveable, but it is true. I have lived in fear and trauma all my life and I just can't do it anymore.

I'm not going back.