Quote of the day...

Okay, I said I was going to do "bumper stickers" from time to time and I haven't been really faithful in that so far, but I'm working on it. I have no intention of doing a "quote of the day" every day or every week or whatever, but I AM going to have some quotes on here sometimes. Here is one I found, that resonates with me at present.

"Depression is a symptom which warns us that we're getting into deep water. It is, I believe, designed by God as an emotional reaction to slow us down, to remove us from the race, to pull us back so we can take stock... It is a protective device which removes us from further stress and gives us time to recover."

--Arch Hart

Koolaid looks kewl...

Look what I found...how to dye fibers with Koolaid. Looks totally kool. Pardon the pun.

The Thousand Dollar Bill

You and I are could compare ourselves to a thousand dollar bill.

The legal tender may be crushed, stepped on, even ripped in half and taped back together, but its core value is unchanged in the view of the one who created the bill.

We are still worth lots and lots in God's eyes, even if we feel as though the abuse we have survived has rendered us useless. I hope to recognize my own value more and more. My prayer will be that you will, as well.

At the same time, if we don't actually USE the thousand dollar bill, in the end, it's just paper. I need to allow God to use me, brokenness, imperfections, and all.

That's a nugget from Dr. Tony Evans; here's a link to listen to it if you like. :-)

It's official...

I have lost my mind. Told hubs last night that he needed to call a psychiatrist and have me committed because I SIGNED UP FOR A WESTERN MINI-APRON SWAP. Probably have to make a couple dozen of those crazy things. He did look at me like I was several fries short of a Happy Meal. Silly boy.

Well, I do have an excuse:

1. Cheaper than therapy -- oh, wait, I'm doing that too! and very understandably so, I reckon; ;-)
2. Nice chickadees who are also making them, very nice and complimentary of my first effort, and just darned good people who are fun to talk with about this madness;
3. An ongoing promise that I AM NOT GOING COUNTRY/PRIM. There will be no festoons of mini aprons adorning my home. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I'll just use them for booth decorations or perhaps gift them to a lucky person.

Still, I think the psych ward might be in order.

Cornell Bread

This bread is high in protein, whole grains, and DOESN'T TASTE LIKE DOO DOO. It tastes good! It's also very easy to make in a bread machine. Now that soy flour is readily available (heck, even Wally World sells it), it's a no brainer. Give it a whirl! Haven't had a single complaint about it here at home...where people are always on the lookout when I say "do you like it?"...they think that means I put weird stuff in it. Maybe, but if it tastes good, do you care? :-)

Here's the official recipe from the Cornell University site (yes, this recipe was developed by a guy from Cornell many years ago as the "perfect" bread, great for nutrition and taste alike).

I don't have the cornell bread book (yep, there is an entire book with cornell recipes), but I used the version from Donna Rathmell German's Bread Machine Cookbook series. Just too darned easy.

Here is a version that uses eggs.

Here is one more version where you can mix up the dry ingredients as a "mix" and then just dole it out as you make it, and an accompanying herb version.

You can read more about Cornell Bread here.

Homemade Chicken Noodle Soup

This isn't a recipe, do you really need one from me? There are so many out there...but here's a few things I did.

I used leftover turkey and cooked the turkey breast carcass for the broth. I added some organic chicken broth (99 cents at K-roger! people on my side of town obviously don't eat organic...so they have to offer it on closeout), a splash of white wine, and the requisite vegetables.

The "Joy of Cooking" mentioned adding some curry powder. Wouldn't have thought of that, but it was very good.

I let it sit in the fridge for a couple of days and then took to last night's potluck. Soup's always better after a day or two, I think. That silly little soup received some nice commments.

Thank you...

Someone I know blessed me a great deal a couple days ago...they said they had returned to the state where they had lived as a child and that they saw "their nashbabe", whom they described as a woman who had helped them and mothered them and cared for them in the midst of their disruptive and neglectful childhood.

Hey you fabulous babe, I am honored that you would say that. Gosh, I'm speechless. Thanks dear.

Loved it.

The U23D Movie, that is. I'll never get that close to the band, even if I paid a scalper a king's ransom, which I ain't got. Thank you Cynthia and Robert for the lovely gift.



I'm going back. This does NOT lend itself to my twenty seven inch TV.

Saw it on IMAX; I hope that's how everyone gets to see it. Totally cool, although they all looked so wrinkly (well, not Larry Mullen Jnr.). ;-)

The review I read seemed to understand the movie fairly well as a movie reviewer, but not necessarily as a longterm U2 fan. The reviewer commented that the movie primarily stuck to the format of a pure concert film but that it was distracting and over the top when they performed "The Fly". What that reviewer apparently did not understand was that the song in question was from the "Achtung Baby" period, when Bono was quoted as saying the album was "the sound of four men trying to chop down The Joshua Tree." Yes, it WAS distracting. THAT WAS THE POINT.

Saw an interesting post about Bono's "coexist" stuff in the movie, thanks to AKAPastorGuy.

My very first tag...

Beverly the empress of creativity has tagged me. This is a first in blogdom for me. Well, actually the second but the first time I didn't know what was up, I was such a newbie. I'm only a few rungs above that now, but I know enough to reply.

Apparently in this quasi-chain-letter scheme, ;-) Iam obligated to tag a few more people. Also included in this game is for me to write 7 unusual factoids about myself.

So, here are the rules......if you decide to play with me.

Once you are tagged, link back to the person who tagged you. Post the rules on your blog. Post 7 random or weird facts about yourself on your blog. Tag 7 people and link to them. Comment on their blog to let them know they have been tagged.

Hokay, here are seven unusual things about me...hmmm...this could take some thought.

1. I am currently learning how to run a sound board. Apparently they have such a shortage of people at church who can do it (in music city! who'da thought? *L*) that they decided to give me a shot. I have a pretty decent ear, but knew almost nothing about it...one training session down, surely many to go!

2. Once upon a time I lived on a farm, but I've never driven a tractor by myself. Kind of sad, really.

3. I grew up in a place where we basically never got a snow day out of school unless you looked out the window and couldn't see ANYTHING.

4. I know more about football than the average chickadee.

5. A cheese sandwich placed in the broiler or toaster oven is just ducky with some avocado on it.

6. My cars have a total of over 420,000 miles on them. That is not a typo.

7. If you know me, you already know this, but I drive someone else's kid 100 miles a day, four hours a day, back and forth to school. I wouldn't have included that, but it is darned weird, so I guess I should do so. :-)

I will tag Christy, E, Melissa, Allison, AKAPastor Guy, TDad, and for this fine event. Feel free to not spend time on this if you don't want...after all, isn't blogging supposed to be a good thing? ;-)

Thanks Bev!

There IS life in that dried up cracked soil...

...just throw a little water on it, and watch.

There is new life to be had, and I see it coming down the pike. Self care makes no sense to me...it was always "placate the rage-filled person now, silence their rages somehow, I don't matter." Then I thought "well, if I care for myself I can keep placating the rage filled people." Now I wonder if it is actually "God wants me to have rest and peace and I need some just for my own sake."

I'm pretty slow on the uptake, eh? But I'm thankful, too. 'Have learned of several notable Christians who struggled mightily with depression, and am learning about them. I think I had to come to this place in order to take away some of the false lessons I learned in the abuse, and learn a little good stuff instead.

Okay, enough philosophizing for now...off to be crafty again. More orders to be filled, and a special project for a friend...I'll shoot pics when I'm done.

Healing

Sure is a lot of work to heal...especially when you've avoided it for so long...or in my case, just trudged down the road of incessant demands of multiple mentally ill, rage filled people.

It's like I'm in a hospital for healing and I'm needing ICU of self-care. Not something I'm used to. Through despair, I can see healing on the other side. In this place, I see God's grace more fully than before. Still really hard, though. Even now I can see things eventually getting better and for that I am extremely thankful.

Felted Wool Mittens

These mittens were described in the paper today. Haven't made 'em, but I know there's some felting fans out there so I'm passing this along. :-)

Where have you been all my life, Mr. Toaster Oven...

Our toaster went belly up and I learned we could get a cheap toaster oven for about the same amount of bucks.

What an awesome idea! I never thought about this before...an easy way to warm up something without that microwave texture, and not warm up the whole house, and use a lot less electricity. Plus I could make a small portion of something (like a dessert) and just have enough for the two of us and not all those crazy leftovers that I really shouldn't eat anyway.

So I made Toaster Oven Apple Crisp. I used light margarine, a white/wheat flour blend, and cane juice sugar.

Nice to be able to control the ingredients and portion size, and my hubs liked it too. I made it in the little teeny round cake pans that you can buy around here at Target or K-Roger.

For a chilly day, chowder is charming...

Around here, it's cold...even the midwesterner in me thinks it's cold down here right now. That might be because I've abandoned parkas and boots and the appropriate items of clothing for cold weather. So soup, and chowder in particular, is nice.

The other night I made a really really easy corn/potato chowder.

This recipe goes together super quickly!!!!

The providers of this recipe would probably hate me, because I didn't bother with evaporated milk. I just made reconstituted dry milk, but added extra milk powder so I figure I approximated evaporated milk. (kind of a burly mix...extra powder. ;-) ) My guess is that soy milk would be okay, but on the thin side, so perhaps adding more potato flakes would be a good idea in that case.

Didn't bother with the Tater Tots, as I don't keep 'em in the house and it seemed like gilding the lily.

If you don't have ham in the house (as I didn't), some bacon bits work well. I used half a bag of real bacon bits instead of all that ham, and it was still really nice. It would be a nice way to use up leftover ham or maybe even some bacon you have in the house.

So darn easy.

Yet another way to get hubs to eat veggies!

Yahoo.

I like Kalyn's Kitchen blog. It has some healthy type recipes.

I also like the idea of a recipe that has some "hey, here's some choices, you pick which ones you want, combine them, and there, that's your recipe." Well, not for baking, but hey, cooking's an art, and baking's a science, right?

Here's another lovely winter type recipe: Kalyn's Crunchy Cruciferous Salad.

I just took a bag of Mann's Vegetable Medley which is by those Broccoli Wokly people. Was just a buck at K-roger last week.

Cut it up into smaller pieces with my one lovely knife--Wustof Santoku Emeril--I wuv that knife, mixed with lowfat ranch dressing (only enough to sort of cover it) and lower fat cheese. No reason not to use shredded soy cheese for this, and another type dressing. I like Annie's Green Goddess and that would be nice too. Only enough cheese to add a little flavor/color. Chopped up extra raw baby carrots and a green pepper, and mixed it all up. Freshly ground pepper rounded out the stuff, although I think a little dill or etc. would be lovely too.

When hubs goes back for ample seconds on veggies, I know I've got something. Just so darned easy.

Obviously Kalyn has lots of options here, so go for it and have fun! All these extra veggies in my diet can't help but help me feel better, and so I'm doing all I can to help myself greet the day with more cheer. Seven servings of veggies/fruits a day can't hurt...

Crochet Potholders

This is the time of year that many of us are trying to lose weight, stop smoking, etc. I'm not saying that crocheting will do this for you, but why not do something else with your hands while watching TV, waiting in the school pickup line, sitting in a waiting room, or wherever else you may find yourself?

Personally, I use these for some stress control/relief. If you know me, and you see me making a lot of these, you automatically can know that I am probably really stressed out. :-)

Many potholders are not thick enough for me, so I usually use two thicknesses of a cotton type yarn like "Sugar n Cream" or "Peaches n Creme". The former is available at Michael's, Hobby Lobby, etc., and the latter is available at Wally World, etc.

To make a couple of double strand potholders I would probably get a couple of balls of single color cotton type yarn, and possibly a ball or two of an ombre or striping version of the same type yarn. In that case, you could crochet a couple rows of one color, then pick up the ombre/striping for a couple rows, then go back to the main color, etc. I did that with a neon/lime green set for a friend, which I should have snapped a photo of before I sent her way to grace her neon/lime green kitchen.

Of course, two different colors are in no way necessary. Do whatever is cool for your design idea!

One of these potholders was made out of the "homespun" lion brand type yarn interspersed with a cream/aran type red heart super saver. These are not expensive yarns, as you well know. I am kind of attached to the cotton rather than the poly ones, having used both.

The original pattern that I took from the Peaches n creme label said to chain 22 with an H hook, and then and hdc in the second chain from the hook and hdc across. If you don't know what an HDC is, it's a half double crochet. In height that is partway between a single and a double crochet. Wrap your yarn around the hook as in a double crochet, but instead of only going through two loops at a time, go through all three loops at once. If this leads to aggravation or pulling out your hair because of the persnickety loops, remember to keep your thumb on the thumb indentation on the hook and that twisting motion as you remove the hook will, in my experience, help you get through all three loops speedily and reduce your stress...because isn't crochet supposed to reduce your stress instead of add to it? :-)

In my case I chained three for my turning chains instead of two, and used two thicknesses of the cotton yarn at a time. This results in pretty speedy completion. Keep going until you have a shape that is twice as long as it is wide. Then fold it wrong sides together, and chain one, and start crocheting both halves together with sc's all around the square. Then when you get to the final corner, ss, chain 9 loosely, and slip stitch to the other side of that corner for a loop. Then I personally go back and slip stitch all the nine chain stitches of the loop to reinforce them, slip stitch once back at the corner where I started the loop, and weave in ends/finish off.

If you like your potholders thinner, I'm sure a single strand will work well too. I would start around a size H for single strand, and maybe J for the double strand.

My decorative stitches on the cream colored ones are done by doing one stitch in the top loops of the last row as usual, then doing the next one into the next row down, and so on and so forth, alternating. If this is as clear as mud, let me know and I'll get some examples up here for you fellow crochet peeps.

This is also a nice way to use up small amounts of peaches n creme or sugar n cream you have left over from other projects. I assume potholders will be primarily made to protect our hard working cooks hands, so I personally could care less if some of them are multi colored. You can always make a nice "dress" set in your kitchen's colors to hang up or display prominently, and have the "bits n pieces" ones in a drawer where you actually use them.

These are thick enough with the double yarn version to make decent trivet-hotpad type usages, too.

enjoy...

Not feeling well

Haven't felt well for a few weeks, which is very discouraging, but trying to deal with it by exercising, eating as well as possible, and dealing with the stress and not just stuffing it.

Another strange and not exciting missive below; might want to ignore this one. It's heavy and weird, but heartfelt. :-)

I've been crocheting a ton, which usually means I am very stressed out. Yep, that's accurate about now.

There are good things happening; I just need to remember that. Three new interested parties in the stuff I sell, a loving husband who seems to finally be feeling a bit better, three cats who seem to know just when to apply lots of cuddles and purrs, health insurance (thank the Lord), reasonably decently working old cars, a handful of positive days with kiddo that have been strikingly good but also replete with the same old rage and anger outbursts interspersed, a warm home.

Last summer, I didn't really care about life many times. Now I do care, but it does hurt. Now I want to work on things being better and getting healed. That is a vast improvement. Feeling things instead of stuffing them is something neither hubs nor I were allowed to do growing up, and so we haven't done well with it even as adults. Now we are both learning and growing in an understanding of why things are the way they are.

My prayer is that God will show us more and more of what to do about it so we can be reasonably healthy, joy filled people. We deal with several rage filled individuals on a near constant basis. This would make even the most strong people crumble, and so we acknowledge the rough times as very understandable. Without God and the people who care about us, I honestly don't know what we would do. I am grateful, and also really feeling the pain, hurt, and anger for potentially the first time. I guess it's a good thing to feel, and deal with the feelings. In our culture we are perpetually surrounded by ways to avoid our feelings, and avoid dealing with them. No wonder there are so many addictions and so much brokenness out there. God is even now helping us deal with the pain and without God I have no idea how we would do it.

I'm working on a letter or two that I will no doubt never send, but will allow me to write about the pain and hurt as well as my strong desire for healing and the things I am doing to gain healing, with God's help. In my heart I know that a lot, if not most, of the stressors are on us because of others' unwillingness or inability to deal with their own hurts and addictions/sadness/pain. That gives me even more motivation to take God's hand, wade though the pain for seemingly the first time, and have confidence that I will make it to the other side.

So sad, hurting, angry, and also hopeful and confident. More of the former than the latter, but even a small bit, tiny, miniscule amount of hope and confidence in God can go a long way. Surely I have had to endure this in order to know God better and to have true peace and healing. I can sense these things coming to pass, even in my despair. I'm still grateful.

Easy-Peasy Broccoli and Cauliflower Gratin

My hubby avoids vegetables quite often, unless I do a few things to help. Like for example, I will hand him a plate or bowl of a few raw veggies when he gets home, sometimes with dip, and tell him that dinner will be ready soon. That gets a few in him before the meat and etc. is ready. Well, a girl's gotta try something! *L*

So now with winter veggies being available in abundance in the stores, I have made this broccoli and cauliflower gratin a couple of times. To me, several changes make this a better situation.

*Salt and pepper should be added, I think.
*I've used nonfat yogurt instead of the sour cream and hubs still ate it happily. Or light sour cream works too.
*Haven't gone all the way to nonfat cream cheese, but neufachel (reduced fat) works just fine.
*This is a good recipe when your veggies aren't photo worthy. I had a head of cauliflower that needed to be used up pronto, and a bag of chopped broccoli when I made it last night. Neither was that exciting to look at, but with the sauce and cheese, no worries, mate!
*2% cheddar would be just fine, and I'll bet soy or rice cheese would be otay too.
*Ritz crackers on top? That didn't seem that exciting to me. Around here, I make bread in the bread machine and when it's getting a little dry, I just whirl the leftover bread in the food processor till I get bread crumbs. Let them dry out in a slow, low oven and you can use them in meat loaf, as a casserole topping, and I've even seen a recipe for using them in stuffing which is probably good too. A better use for dried out bread, I'm thinking...
*Didn't try finishing it in the microwave. I used the microwave to cook the veggies, but finished the dish in the oven. Don't know about you, but I'm a sucker for the crunchy cheesy/breadcrumb topping and that just isn't going to happen in the microwave, IMHO. I just did an hour at 350 degrees.

Kraft sends out a monthly magazine of recipes for free, so you may want to sign up for it. The magazine is usually quite useful and can be adapted to your tastes.

Hope and Lighthouse Joint Service 1-13-08

Bumper Sticker

Haven't done one of these in a long while...so here's one I actually saw a couple days ago...

"I (heart) my cat. My cat does not care."

Thankful stuff...

*The mysterious "bed elf" who makes the bed each morning. Mandy the kitten encourages the bed elf while he makes the bed, meowing loudly and jumping on the bed while the elf does his stuff, moving to a new section of the bed as it is made. Hilarious.

*Friends who can't really help, but who are going through tough stuff too, so they understand.

*Some peace and quiet every now and then.

Thanks, God.

Banana French Toast

Kiddo announced that they were eating low carb for the next couple of weeks in an attempt to get rid of the last few pounds they wanted to lose (kiddo has lost around fifty pounds by controlling their eating and doing a lot of running and walking). Of course, kiddo made this announcement just after I had bought a bunch of oranges, bananas, and other stuff kiddo will now not eat. I imagine teenagers do this kind of thing often...so I needed to find something to do with the bananas.

You know me, I like to surreptitiously sneak good food into hubs' diet. So I made this french toast the other night. Yep, it's vegan but he didn't even realize that, just told me how yummy he thought it was and that he really liked it. Then I said "oh?" and he said "why, what's in it?" The bananas work really well.

A quick spray of Pam in the skillet was plenty to cook this french toast, IMHO. No need to add all that butter, I didn't figure.

There's no need to have bananas sitting on your kitchen counter at the premiere state of ripeness to have this french toast, either. When your bananas are getting brown, just peel 'em and freeze them to use whenever you want in a recipe like this or banana bread, or a banana smoothie, etc.

The bread was "Banana Oatmeal Bread" that I made in the bread machine. This is from a great series of cookbooks for bread machines called the Nitty Gritty Cookbooks...cheap, easy to find, and full of actually useful recipes. You can open up nearly any page and say "yeah, I'd actually make this." Compare this to many cookbooks (at least in my opinion) that have a lot of "theoretical" recipes: "yeah, that's interesting, but I would NEVER make that."

There are also scads of recipes for banana oatmeal bread on the 'net, I had no idea. It's the kind of bread that would be nice for a peanut butter sandwich, for toast for breakfast, or this french toast recipe. Not as sweet as regular banana bread.

We ate this for dinner the other night. Somehow that does seem to make more sense, eh? Eat a bunch of carbs at night, when you're just fine with getting sleepy and then going to bed, instead of for breakfast.... *L*

Sneaky nutrition and really good. With homemade bread, even if it IS bread machine bread (somehow that's cheating, eh?), it is super yummy.

Crochet Bath Rug

Just finished something we really needed around here...a crocheted bath rug. It is very thick and absorbent and feels good on your tootsies. Here's what I did in case you are interested...

*Move things along faster and thicker/more cushy by using two strands of nice absorbent yarn.

*I recommend you get a bunch of that cotton type yarn...I used a couple of cones of Sugar N Cream, Peaches N Creme, that kind of stuff.

*If you've seen this type of stuff in the stores, you know already that you don't have to have a creme colored rug if you would rather have something else. Sugar n Cream, for one, has many different colors and ombres, and has new self-striping colors too. Do check the yarn labels, though, for colorfastness.

*For two thicknesses of this yarn, a "J" sized crochet hook should be about right.

*Crochet a shape out of double crochets. Whatever shape you desire will work. A rectangle or square is the easiest, of course. I crocheted around fourty or fifty chains and then crocheted on both sides of the chain to start an oval.

*Whatever you do, CROCHET THE DOUBLE CROCHET PART FIRST, THEN ADD THE LOOPS (below). I found an example of this on a blog somewhere (darn if I can't find it now, but I'll keep looking to give this person their props) of double crocheting a row, then going back and doing the loops on that row. I would not recommend that if you are doing a shape like mine...you could end up with something misshapen and have to pull some stitches out (ask me how I know! *L*).

*When you have the shape done that you want, I'd recommend a single crochet border all around to prevent stretching, etc.

*Then go back (hopefully without even cutting the yarn, the less cuts the better, of course!) and do the loops by doing a single crochet in the post of each double crochet stitch, then five chain stitches, then a single crochet in the post of the adjacent double crochet stitch, and so on and so forth.

*Put a non-slip rug backing on the rug so you're save and sound when you get out of the tub. I got mine at Target in the rug section. Not only will you be safe and sound, I know you'll have nice cushy stuff for your toes to enjoy, tooo...

*If this is all clear as mud, let me know and I'll put some more stuff on the web to explain things.

Stuff to be thankful for

End of day cuddling with hubs and grey kitten a-purring.
Friends.
A camera for christmas...a cheap one but nice anyway. Allowed me to give my other camera to kiddo, who should have a camera if anyone should...as I told them, "you're math-y and art-y all at the same time...a remarkable combination."

Three things I'm thankful for

Nice enough weather to walk outside the last few days (other than yesterday).
Three crazed and lovely felines.
Cars that work even if they're ancient.

The project that ate my head. ;-)

'Signed up for a mini apron swap...sounded like fun. Grew to 23 minis. My hubby thought I was nuts, and I assured him that I would not be decking the house out in country charm (I'm more of a modern girl, if anything, design wise). The kittens wanted to pose with them, evidently... *L*

Amen!

Couldn't have said it better myself. (I just HAD to make a football post.)

K.C.

Eight years ago our beloved cat Shadow was very ill and had to leave us. Hubs did not want another cat as he was understandably grieving. A week or two later, our vet called. "Come down here! Right now!" (We don't live far away.)

She had a little ball of grey fluff in a holding cage, meowing away. Cutest thing ever. I shoulda known the vet was snookering us into another cat. I took him home and he mouthed off the whole way. Doc said "if hubs isn't ready, you can bring him right back, I saved him for you from the litter because I thought he was the coolest and had the most personality."

Well, maybe that was schmoozing, and maybe not, but K.C. (hub's great name, obviously short for "Kitty Cat") has been my pal ever since.

Good ideas...

Good non-crochet related ideas for a happier new year from the Crochet Dude...

Not reality...

The other day I was waiting for kiddo (seems like we have an eight year pattern going on there ;-P) and a couple were seated next to me. He had stylish glasses, trendy shoes, comfortable-wealthy outfit. She had logo clothes, styled hair, etc. I was feeling more than a little out of place. Such is life when the things kiddo needs aren't available on our side of town (normal!) and we have to go to the pricier side of town, the side of town where I'd be if I wasn't shelling out major bucks to pay for someone else's kid's education and basic needs.

The woman looked stressed and said "I'm going to have to put the kids in after care tomorrow because of work and I hate that". The kids looked to be preteens. The man, almost chuckling with his lack of concern for her financial contribution to the family, said "well, why don't you quit your job if you feel that way?" He didn't look concerned in the least and seemed to be almost ridiculing her for thinking her (little?) income was needed.

I thought, "that is NOT reality where I am."

Because of kiddo I drive through very expensive neighborhoods every day, day after day, and it's hard sometimes. And I'm embarrassed and ashamed of myself that it is hard. I should have left that all behind in my pursuit of Christ, but I'll admit it, I am human and those who know me would have no doubt of that fact.

But you know what?

Where I live isn't reality either. Lots of people in our country, and way more in other countries, live in far worse conditions.

None of this on this earth is reality, in the grand scheme of things. The scene in the first installment of "The Matrix" reminded me quite clearly. The character arises out of the "pod" that they have lived in all their lives, thinking that real life was occuring around them, when they finally realized that all in the "pod" was just an illusion.

That's a good thing. I can't imagine dealing with the crap in this world ad infinitum. Trusting that things will eventually be set right is important when life is swirling darkly around us many times.

What's it mean when your moniker's "meaning" is more accurate than your given name? ;-)

What Nashbabe Means

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong. You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know. You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do. You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out. Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia. Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person. You are full of energy. You are spirited and boisterous. You are bold and daring. You are willing to do some pretty outrageous things. Your high energy sometimes gets you in trouble. You can have a pretty bad temper at times. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger?

I've been re-reading "The Glass Castle." It's a memoir of a girl who grew up not only in abject poverty, but with highly eccentric and neglectful parents. This book hits too close to home sometimes in terms of the extreme levels of infantile and narcissistic behavior by the parents, who often blame the kids for keeping them from living their dreams, all the while not even providing the basics of adequate shelter and clothing because the parents rarely if ever work and refuse all charity to boot.

In all difficult situations there are some aspects that add to one's strength as a human being (that is, if you don't succumb to the extreme despair that would have been totally understandable in the writer's situation).

At one point in the book the children (largely left to themselves to scavenge for food from garbage pails and to conveniently show up at friend's homes around dinner in order to get at least one meal per day) find what looks like a real diamond ring under the cinder block foundation of their house. Their mother takes the ring to an appraiser and finds that the ring is, indeed, a two carat ring worth what to them would be a small fortune. The kids know full well that because of the ne'er-do-well antics of their alcoholic father, and the refusal of their mother to get a job (even though she has a teaching degree and there is a teaching shortage in their county) that their parents are far behind in rent payments, that they're tired of eating popcorn for dinner at best, and that their is no heat or electricity in their run-down shack.

The children are ecstatic when the mother returns with the news, thinking that now the bills will be paid and they might even get a pair of sneakers out of the deal. But the mother announces "I'm not selling the ring. It will give me self-esteem to wear it, and self-esteem is more important than food."

For the sake of discussion on a public blog, I can't get into details, but I know a story along those lines...and it's just as true.

Will knowing this pain make me stronger, or just angrier? I hope it's the former.

Apple Cinnamon Deep Dish Pancake

This was our breakfast. Hubs liked it a lot which was nice. Here are some notes about the recipe:

Check it carefully and bake it until set. I had to bake it longer than the recipe suggested, but your mileage may vary. At the end, I baked it for a little while with the foil off.

It's listed as a winner of a "Cooking Light" magazine contest. This must be because of all the apples. That gives a moist texture.

This would probably be very nice baked in a similar size cast iron skillet. That's what I'm going to try next time.

I used soy milk instead of regular milk, and you can use six egg whites if you want to further reduce the fat/cholesterol content.

I used turbinado type sugar for the topping which worked just fine.

I'll bet that a combination of apples and raisins or apples and cranberries would be nice as well.

If you don't use Bob's Red Mill for your kitchen extravaganza on this one, use a pancake or waffle mix, my suggestion would be something other than bisquick because the mix has ten grains, dry milk, and leavening and doesn't have the shortening like a Bisquick would use.

For a brunch this would be nice, but I think you'll want a couple portions rather than just one! :-)

Whole Grain Power Bar

This was my attempt to make some breakfast food that hubs will eat as he dashes out the door, which is pretty common. The other goal was to by and large make something where I didn't have to buy anything from the store, to save money.

Made these with the recipe over at Bob's Red Mill. My hubby won't eat coconut to save his soul, though, so usually with a breakfast bar type recipe you can substitute an equal amount of oatmeal and get away with it. I used the old fashioned oats instead because it has more fiber.

Usually you can substitute different kinds of nuts in these things and get away with it. I had walnuts and pecans, so that's what we ended up with instead.

What the heck did I have quinoa in the house for? I had bought a little at Wild Oats which sadly will be swallowed up by the Whole Foods monolith. I don't mind Whole Foods entirely (although I hear people call them "Whole Paycheck", but they're further and further away from the food and more and more into the glitz, IMHO. Their bulk food section, which I always liked, is shrinking rapidly and the "shoppertainment" seems to be all the buzz. Kind of scary really. Hope someone else comes in and fills the void. Even a Trader Joe's would be SO lovely in Nashvegas.

Hubs is NOT into cranberries, but there are many other dried fruits you can substitute. Obviously the easiest substitution is raisins.

I had been warned to RINSE YOUR QUINOA before cooking, and I obediently followed directions. It's so small though, how does one rinse it in a colander? Well, I couldn't make that option work, kids, that's all I'll say. ;-)

My hubs keeps protein powder in the house to make shakes, so that was pretty easy. It is also available at major supermarkets now with no problems.

Lots of protein to keep you going for the morning...

Magna Carta of Trust

Hard to believe this has been around for ten years, but I guess it has. Worth revisiting...