Sickie chickie once again

I have some lovely, cough your guts out, sore throat, swollen gland stuff. The doc's phone number was busy for the first half hour I tried this morning. That kind of tells you what's up.

I told the nurse I can wait until tomorrow if needed.

This is the second time I have been sick in the last three weeks. Arrgh.

Why I am I so ticked at myself that I'm sick? I guess I expect myself to caregive adequately all the time and I am unable right now? That's probably it. I'm more aware about self care and try to do it, but I still suck at it without being extremely mindful.

Wonder if that's why I told the nurse I can wait till tomorrow.

There is an abusive person in my life, though their abuse is muted now that I have stepped away (for almost a year now). In this situation they would likely scream that I am "selfish" and a "martyr." At the top of their lungs. Then I would have to apologize for nothing, for absolutely nothing, to get them to stop screaming.

I'm not going to apologize anymore.

Maybe I can learn to take care of myself better. After all, Jesus only spent less than 10% of His earthly life in public ministry. Must have needed to gear up for it during the first thirty. Seems like a huge waste of time from my perspective. I must have it wrong.

At least I figured that out and am not serving blindly. Cool.

Quote of the day

“He knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold."

Job 23:10

Hope I can live up to that one.

Quote o' the day...

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose." Jim Elliot

Poached Chicken Breast with Spinach Garganelli

Necessity being the mother of invention, I invaded my kitchen to try to find something that would serve up chicken a little differently.

I panseared three boneless, skinless chicken breasts in a frying pan that had been sprayed with cooking spray. After browning them on both sides, I added dried sage, dill, rosemary, and a couple of cans of mushrooms. Then I doused it all with some leftover white wine and covered it, simmered for fifteenish minutes.

Meanwhile, I cooked half a bag of this lovely spinach garganelli (from Target! on closeout!).

After checking the chicken for doneness, I removed it from the pan.

Then to the pan juices I added some more of the leftover wine, and a cup or so of light sour cream. I'll bet nonfat yogurt would give a similar result. I also added a dash of chicken base (I love this stuff), and salt and pepper. After it was bubbling merrily, I added some cornstarch that had been incorporated into a small bowl of cold water with a fork (the way to avoid lumps).

Once the sauce had thickened, I added the cooked and drained pasta to the pan.

My hubby was duly impressed, and said "What did I do to deserve a gourmet meal? This is really good, and I'm guessing that you made it so it's good for me."

I said "Well, if it tastes good, that's okay, right?" *L*

Healthier Banana Bread that the dudes actually liked

If you are looking for healthy recipes you may want to sign up for Dr. Weil's email recipes. This one is very good indeed. I was skeptical since it didn't have any butter or eggs, and didn't have a lot of oil, but the honey works really well. And it's even vegan, if you are willing to eat honey. The recipe specifically asks for whole wheat pastry flour. I didn't have that so I whirled some regular whole wheat flour in the food processor for a while. Maybe I did nothing to it, but perhaps it made it lighter. It seemed to, anyway.

Overly ripe bananas are placed in plastic bags (without the peels of course) and frozen around here. A quick microwave and maybe a few pulses with a stick blender will prepare them for this recipe. Frozen bananas are great for things like smoothies as well.

The main thing was that this actually went over well at home with the dudes. I have often made banana bread for the kiddo because he frequently requests it. Now I can do it with a pretty clear conscience! :-)

Could it be?

Possible positive news for kiddo.

Lord, thanks. But also thanks for understanding my high levels of doubt.

Interesting stuff

Mother Teresa's crisis of faith is actually encouraging and instructive for me. Here are some of her quotes from the article...

[Jesus:] Wilt thou refuse to do this for me? ... You have become my Spouse for my love — you have come to India for Me. The thirst you had for souls brought you so far — Are you afraid to take one more step for Your Spouse — for me — for souls? Is your generosity grown cold? Am I a second to you?
[Teresa:] Jesus, my own Jesus — I am only Thine — I am so stupid — I do not know what to say but do with me whatever You wish — as You wish — as long as you wish. [But] why can't I be a perfect Loreto Nun — here — why can't I be like everybody else.
[Jesus:] I want Indian Nuns, Missionaries of Charity, who would be my fire of love amongst the poor, the sick, the dying and the little children ... You are I know the most incapable person — weak and sinful but just because you are that — I want to use You for My glory. Wilt thou refuse?
— in a prayer dialogue recounted to Archbishop Ferdinand Perier, January 1947
On Sept. 10, 1946, after 17 years

"I want to love Jesus as he has never been loved before."

If this brings You glory — if souls are brought to you — with joy I accept all to the end of my life.
— to Jesus, undated

Around here, it's all about the orange...

But at my house, we are Drake blue.

We'll enjoy it while it lasts!

And you know what's the best part? These students are actually STUDENTS. You have to be a real student to survive there.

The bad part: these kids were born AFTER we graduated from Drake. Ah, yes, get us walkers and wheelchairs, we are ancient...*L*

Oh, and BTW, last year's Masters champion was from our little university. (Yeah, as in golf and the green jacket.) So, HA! as the kiddo would say.

"Biggest vindication: Drake 71, Butler 64. Just because Drake doesn't have many star players -- or much rebounding or shooting defense, for that matter -- doesn't mean it is not a very real Sweet 16 threat. In case going 14-2 so far in the RPI's No. 8 conference wasn't impressive enough, Drake's egalitarian, methodical, no-foul and no-turnover approach beat No. 8 Butler at its place. This team, which starts two walk-ons, was picked ninth in the MVC at the start of the year; so much for conventional wisdom. "

"Drake is for real. I know the Bulldogs had lost two of three in league play before beating Butler in Hinkle Fieldhouse Saturday night, but those losses were by five points combined. Adam Emmenecker is so solid at both ends, and he slyly creates for Josh Young in what seems to be the best backcourt no one talks about."

"'Drake' is the new slang for 'unselfish.'"

Thanks, Phil

We had a guest speaker today...he reminded me that

*God shows up in the midst of my weakness. Wow, God must really be showing up about now, although it seems like he isn't.

*So I'm weak. So what? I want to live life fully and embrace God's plan for me fully anyway. If I were strong, I would probably live under the false assumption that I could make it quite fine on my own. Yeah, as if.

*Who can I love well around me? That's easy. I know who. And I want to, please help me.

So it's okay that I am where I am. Hey, I knew that already, but I really need people to tell me that. Someone close to our family reminded me that it was wise to stay away from the extremely toxic person(s) in my life. It's one thing to hear professionals say it, but to hear a believer who is dear to me say that is an important reassurance. It's hard to be estranged, but there is no other choice at present and it is better than the other option...to bow to the relentless abuse. Can't do that, no way, no how, not again.

Quote o' the day

If it were not for hope, the heart would break.
-- Thomas Fuller

Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.
--Proverbs 13:12 (NIV)

Unrelenting disappointment leaves you heartsick,
but a sudden good break can turn life around.
--Proverbs 13:12 (The Message)

"I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"
--Mark 9:24b (NIV)

Please, Lord. Thank you for listening. Please help.

White Bean Dip with Herbs

I made this dip with a little trepidation. After all, I had gone for the tofu pepperoni in the store the other day (hey, it was on sale!), and made a couple pizzas with it. My hubby grabbed a leftover piece and said "what's with this pepperoni?" Then I had to fess up. Once he took the "pepperoni" off, he would eat the 'za. Oh, well, that's okay.

So I saw this recipe for bean dip and thought "gosh, my luck wasn't too good this week, is this too weird to try to foist on him?"

Actually, no. He liked it.

Instead of actually doing the sauteing of garlic and all that, I just used great northern beans, garlic powder, and the other spices listed. I also added some freshly ground italian spices. I mixed it up with what Emeril calls the "boat motor": a stick blender. Hey, every soaper I know has at least one stick blender. Don't worry, I have a different one for my soap.

This dip was tasty right after making, which I didn't expect. I figured that it would be good only after a few hours of blending, but you don't even have to wait. With great northern beans, this is a very cheap and tasty dip that is even good for you, and goes together really quickly if you just use garlic powder instead. Go figure. I served it with Triscuits and should work great with fresh veggies. Very tasty.

Another crocheted rug

This is a variation on the bath rug I previously made. I used the same technique as described there, but with an acrylic/wool blend gifted to me by a fab chickadee. It was perfect to do during this last week when I was a sickly girlie. This one's going in the downstairs bath so I can get rid of a truly threadbare rug in another part of my house.

The two color thing just kind of came together, partially because I didn't have enough cream, and partially because that bath is basically cream colors and black.

The dimensions on this rug are around 24"x36". To make this rug, I used a double strand of the yarn. As a result I needed tons of yarn. I'm guessing it was around 2800 yards. Can't believe it took that much, but it did!