I have some lovely, cough your guts out, sore throat, swollen gland stuff. The doc's phone number was busy for the first half hour I tried this morning. That kind of tells you what's up.
I told the nurse I can wait until tomorrow if needed.
This is the second time I have been sick in the last three weeks. Arrgh.
Why I am I so ticked at myself that I'm sick? I guess I expect myself to caregive adequately all the time and I am unable right now? That's probably it. I'm more aware about self care and try to do it, but I still suck at it without being extremely mindful.
Wonder if that's why I told the nurse I can wait till tomorrow.
There is an abusive person in my life, though their abuse is muted now that I have stepped away (for almost a year now). In this situation they would likely scream that I am "selfish" and a "martyr." At the top of their lungs. Then I would have to apologize for nothing, for absolutely nothing, to get them to stop screaming.
I'm not going to apologize anymore.
Maybe I can learn to take care of myself better. After all, Jesus only spent less than 10% of His earthly life in public ministry. Must have needed to gear up for it during the first thirty. Seems like a huge waste of time from my perspective. I must have it wrong.
At least I figured that out and am not serving blindly. Cool.
3 comments:
Hugs for you. Hope you get to feeling better!
When Jesus was baptized, God spoke from heaven and said that this was His Son whom He loved and with Him he was well pleased. This was BEFORE he had done any "ministry" (Matt 3:17). We are loved by God and can please Him just living our everyday lives for Him. Praying the germies get gone!
Yeah, but He was God. See, I can mess up your nice comment, just look! I know, I know, I'm learning... *sigh* I'm just self-care and self-respect challenged, almost retarded. I'm learning. Self awareness is at least a beginning...:-)
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