Some good news...

...not the major stuff, but something that will help.

I'm sorry, I know I sound cryptic sometimes. Many difficulties surround the kiddo, and since kiddo isn't our kiddo, if you know what I'm saying, discretion is the better part of valor. Not things to be posted on a blog, and yet I feel the need to emote about them. If you stopped by my blog, and indulged me the chance to emote, I thank you from the bottom of my pea-pickin' heart.

Lord, I'm grateful for the reminder that you are working things out for our good. Now, please show me what to do, in Your time. Thanks.

Quotes of the day...

--I can feel guilty about the past, apprehensive about the future, but only in the present can I act. The ability to be in the present moment is a major component of mental wellness.

--If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life.

--A first rate soup is better than a second rate painting.

--We may define therapy as a search for value.

--He that is good with a hammer tends to think everything is a nail.

--What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.

--A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be. This need we call self-actualization.

--If I were dropped out of a plane into the ocean and told the nearest land was a thousand miles away, I'd still swim. And I'd despise the one who gave up.


Abraham Maslow

I liked this

Warning, it's political. I did say I'd largely stay out of politics, right? Back to the regularly scheduled life of nashbabe...

Sow on, sow on...

It seemed like a dream, too good to be true, when God returned Zion's exiles.
We laughed, we sang,
we couldn't believe our good fortune.
We were the talk of the nations—
"God was wonderful to them!"
God was wonderful to us;
we are one happy people.

And now, God, do it again—
bring rains to our drought-stricken lives
So those who planted their crops in despair
will shout hurrahs at the harvest,
So those who went off with heavy hearts
will come home laughing, with armloads of blessing.

Psalm 126 ("The Message" -- Eugene Peterson)

Never despair, but if you do, work on in despair. -- Edmund Burke

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. -- from the book of Galatians

Defeat


Defeat, my Defeat,
my solitude and my aloofness.
You are dearer to me
than a thousand triumphs,
and sweeter to my heart
than all world glory.

Defeat, my Defeat,
my self-knowledge and my defiance.
Through you I know that
I am yet young and swift of foot
and not to be trapped
by withering laurels.
And in you
I have found aloneness
and the joy of
being shunned and scorned.

Defeat, my Defeat,
my shining sword and shield.
In your eyes I have read
that to be enthroned
is to be enslaved,
and to be understood
is to be levelled down,
and to be grasped
is but to reach one's fullness
and like a ripe fruit
to fall and be consumed.

Defeat, my Defeat,
my bold companion,
you shall hear my songs
and my cries and my silences,
and none but you shall speak to me
of the beating of wings,
and urging of seas,
and of mountains
that burn in the night,
and you alone shall climb
my steep and rocky soul.

Defeat, my Defeat,
my deathless courage,
you and I shall laugh together
with the storm,
and together we shall dig graves
for all that die in us,
and we shall stand
in the sun with a will,
and we shall be dangerous.

"Madman" 1918 --Kahlil Gibran


I'll make up for the years of the locust,
the great locust devastation—
Locusts savage, locusts deadly,
fierce locusts, locusts of doom,
That great locust invasion
I sent your way.
You'll eat your fill of good food.
You'll be full of praises to your God,
The God who has set you back on your heels in wonder.
Never again will my people be despised.
You'll know without question
that I'm in the thick of life with Israel,
That I'm your God, yes, your God,
the one and only real God.
Never again will my people be despised.

from the book of Joel ("The Message" -- Eugene Peterson)

Haven't I been quoting that last one a whole lot, God? I don't understand, but I'll do my best to keep sowing. If something grows, that would really help me keep flinging the seed. Thanks.

That's about the extent of it...

They wonder why people don't vote...in droves.

I have been very well behaved about my lack of political blogging, in light of current events around my domicile and nearby domiciles. :-) However, I may have to go into defense mode rather than remaining like the Swiss. I won't be doing it on this board, though. This was probably my only other political post of the year.

The last straw.

After a night of watching kiddo and hubs bowl in their league (a silly, strangely out of place activity that has become kind of a "family" bonding experience despite its low level of intellectual pursuit--and we're a "family" of sorts, aren't we?), I went outside to the car and realized that someone had stolen the logo off the trunk. It was pretty obvious, a trio of finger marks in the light layer of dust surrounding where the logo had been.

Good grief, people, it's an early 90's Honda. How could that be something worth stealing?

I'm sure they thought it wasn't that big of a deal, didn't even think of the ramifications for me. But the main thing was that it was the last straw. I was already stressed, angry, searching for answers, continually trying to put all the junk back in God's hands where it belongs. But this could have just pushed me over the edge.

Later, I thought about the small hurtful, insensitive, or possibly injurious things I have likely done, really without regard for others. It didn't seem like much at the time, but for all I know it could have been the straw that broke the camel's back, as it were. I do tend to walk on eggshells because of my family history, but we all veer toward Self-Centered Land, and it gave me pause. At least by this stupid situation I was reminded to go as gently as I can into the world and be as helpful and complimentary as I can.

And by the way, the fabulous nashbabe (that would be me) ventured to the auto parts store all by her lonesome, picked out the needed products to fix and reasonably seal/paint the affected area, and am finishing the repair later today. Won't be perfect, but it will be reasonably mended, and I'm fairly certain that rain water won't leak into the trunk as it would if I just ignored the problem.

So that's not all bad.

Prayer of Thomas Merton

MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

It would seem that deja vu is here again

Haven't I already said that it was rough, really rough, and seemingly getting rougher? Yet, here I am again saying it's getting even rougher. Will it ever get any better? I am trying to have hope.

I am so grateful for all the people who are helping us, sending notes of comfort, strengthening us. It is very hard right now, but imagine how hard it would be if they were not here lifting us up?

Also, I don't even want to think of where I would be right now if I wasn't walking and walking and walking some more. I am walking 45-60 minutes a day, four-six times a week. Yeah, pudgy Clydesdale nashbabe is doing that. Hard to believe. Never thought I could do this, but I am. Now I can't imagine not doing it. Frankly, I need it. It IS changing my life, I have to admit. Now I hope that in all this chaos, I won't be forced to give it up. I need some protection, Lord, and deep inside I know you are protecting me, but frankly, I feel pretty vulnerable right now to the storms. Hurricane Dolly ain't got nothin' on them, unfortunately.

A difficult part of all this is that I'm trying to hold my hubs up through this madness, really by necessity, but I can't really hold myself up. Really stinks to both be going through such difficulty. I am so tired of saying this. I thought things were going to calm down, and I know pretty much every friend in the book has to be tired of nashbabe and hubs' problems. I know I am. I feel stupid for having these problems, but in my more rational moments I know that they are largely if not exclusively outside stressors being dumped on us.

There are four, no, five things weighing down heavily on us. Any one of them would be considered a difficult, crisis type situation on their own. All of them together is madness.

The good part is I am stronger now than last year, in order to deal with them. It does seem like the problems haven't abated much in the past year in particular, and seem to be worsening. I'm grateful that I have some stress management in place now that I haven't had before. Growing up with nearly constant abuse gives a person weird ideas...like they deserved it, like there is no possible situation where one should attend to one's needs. After all, you are crap, and the abuser will remind you of that on a regular basis, even after you have severed contact. At least I'm learning to care for myself. Lord, I hope I do it for the right reasons, and not just to be strong enough to care for others.

I'm reading Psalm 42 a lot, too. Lord, please help me through this. I don't even know how I'm still standing. Surely it's time for a break from this heavy, depressing stuff. Please. I'm begging you. But even if it can't change, please stay really close to me and help me right now. Thank you, amen.

Enough musing, praying, and crying for tonight. Off to make every attempt to get some rest.

Quote o' the day

As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight where everything remains seemingly unchanged, and it is in such twilight that we must be aware of change in the air, however slight, lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.

- - Supreme Court Justice William O. Douglas

One of the best shows you probably haven't yet discovered.

Mad Men.

It's a must-see.

Admittedly, it is not for kids or teens in my book, but it is richly scripted, impeccably cast, intriguingly staged, and utterly fascinating. There, I said it.

I've watched it since its inception and watched my DVR copies again and again. Every time it's been worth a second look, and then some.

Now that it has received 16 Emmy nominations, I recommend you give it a look-see. Watch the first season in its entirety and I think you'll be sucked into the vortex just like little old nashbabe. But watch 'em all, and see the drama enfold. Only one or two might not do it, but the whole enchilada probably will.

Basil Jelly

A friend posted this in another area of cyberspace. Since I'm surrounded by fresh herbs each week at the farmers' market, I have no excuse not to try it.

1 qt. water
2 cups packed basil
1 pkg (1 3/4 oz) fruit pectin
3 drops green food color
5 cups of sugar

Bring water and Basil to a boil - Remove from heat - cover- let stand for 10 minutes. Strain and discard Basil. Return 3 2/3 cups of liquid to pan. Stir in Pectin and color. Return to boil. Add sugar- boil 1 minute, stirring CONSTANTLY. Remove any foam, pour into hot jars. Seal, then hot water bath for 15 minutes. Makes 6 half pints.

Deep calls to deep...

...in the roar of Your waterfall.

Piper's at it again. Talking about how to deal with depression Biblically. Great stuff that really helped me. Reading it is one thing...I really suggest listening or watching.

It wasn't like I wasn't already doing some or many of these things, just being reminded soundly about strong, faithful responses to life as it is. Lots of good stuff here.