Mostly doing better

It's hard work to focus on healing and becoming healthy, or at least it is for me. It doesn't come naturally. In my world, serving the needs of the abuser was the main focus and not even noticing one's own feelings was the goal.

I do like the feeling of being a little more healthy, though. I'm focusing on vitamins, soy, exercise, and learning some positive things about myself. That last part truly does feel like fiction but sometimes it may possibly be true. Once in a while. Learning what God has to say about me helps. It's not like the latter is a newsflash, but somehow hearing it again does seem to help me see that truth more clearly. If you hesitate to care for yourself because you don't feel as though you are worth it, or there isn't time, or both, I know some of how you must be feeling. Try to embrace even a little loving care for yourself if you can. Try to treat yourself, even for a little while, as God views you...much loved and cherished.

It hasn't been easy lately. Hubs' mom is hospitalized again, and still spending out of control and hoarding like crazy. Let's not talk about my own mom, 'k? Kiddo and his mom are the standard bubbling cauldron of stress, and hubs and I have our own stressors. One would be having replaced the transmission on the car, because it seemed to be the cheapest tack overall. Hard to think of $2300 as being the cheapest way, and certainly wasn't something without stress. 'Got a majorly stressful situation to deal with this morning, which I think is now mostly calmed down.

The long and the short of it is that the stress hasn't abated one bit, and it is still overwhelming to deal with, but the good thing is that I have more reserves to deal with it. Whether that helps in the long run, we shall see. But for now there is encouragement in the midst of all the turmoil that gets dumped on us. We know this is our calling, and we are sheltering ourselves from the situations that we can't really improve anyway. Seems like the wise tack.